The hubby and I had an interesting conversation the other day. He surprised me. I believe we were listening to the radio when someone said a guy or girl was "remarrying" their ex-spouse. It didn't even occur to me the hubby would think about what was being said. Then the hubby said, "now why would someone do that?" "What?" He continued, "why would someone waste time on remarrying someone they divorced?" I thought this to be odd. I said, "I'm sure there are all kinds of reasons. Money, stress, job, you name it. Once those pressures have been taken care of or changed, then maybe they decided to work on their relationship."
The hubby didn't agree. He told me once someone divorced things really don't change. He wouldn't waste his time if it were him. Then I reminded him of his friend who had done just that. Different ballgame. He didn't count. That was okay. For anyone else to do it, it was just really strange. I continued to disagree. I think people can learn from being apart or from working on what ails them. I did and do have one exception. Infidelity. He agreed with me on that but insisted once you are divorced there is no reason to go back. I continued to defend my case ( I don't know why I do this, I hate it when he gets in these moods to beat a dead horse, I know I'll never win). He wouldn't budge.
I don't know why this conversation surprised me so much. But it did. I learned something about my husband that I was not aware of. It made me happy especially thinking about something my mother in law once told me.
THEN, THEN I read a post from Blueridge Gal. It was a forgiveness issue, or two, or three. Can you trust enough to forgive? Holy cannoli, she gave three examples of whether or not would you forgive. They really made me thankful for the situation I'm in. How can people be so absurd? If your interested, go for a visit to read them. They made my head spin.
Remember the old saying, "forgive, just don't forget"? Really? Can you forgive without forgetting? I don't think so. But then I believe a part of me doesn't heal if I don't forgive. I don't want to be one of those hateful bitter people I see at Wal-Mart. Life isn't easy. No one I know has said that anyway.
I thought I would add this. Since many of you know I've been married twice. I would not remarry my first husband. Just for the reason I named earlier. I've forgiven him and truly it's been so long ago I don't even feel like I've been in another marriage. (He just seems like an old friend when I see him. It's kinda void.) Except for the fact I miss his family. They were good to me and they are wonderful people.