Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Whatever Happened to Thank You Notes?

Whatever happened to Thank You Notes? If there is one thing embedded in my pea brain, it's thank you notes. The hubby and I were talking the other day about a wedding we attended. We took a very nice gift. Then we remembered another wedding we attended. And again, we took a very nice gift. No thank you note from either newlyweds. Did they get our gift? Did they not like our gift? Did they think we really enjoyed watching Aunt Flossie do the Tootsie Roll on the dance floor at the reception? Okay, we kinda did!

My grandmother etched thank you notes into my brain. I try my best to send them. I hear her doubting voice in my head, "did you send her a thank you note YET?" Then, I think to my lazy self I had better get writing.

I guess in the age of computers, just downright rudeness and uncaring, people just don't do that anymore. I don't get it. Never will I accept the excuse "I don't have time". Everyone can make time to do anything they want to do. I bet you are reading this right now knowing full good and well there is something much more productive in life you could be doing!

I don't get it. I never will. Especially for wedding gifts. A friend told me once she just didn't have time to write thank you's because she had over 200 people at her wedding. She just couldn't do it. I told her not to be expecting any baby gifts should that bun start baking. (Guilt didn't even encourage her.) That's my motto anymore. No more thank you's =No more gifts!!

I think it was Terri at Lakewood Manor who stated how much she loved getting Christmas cards. Even though mine are late and I still intend to send them (soon I promise, because some of them have thank you's included) I love to receive them too. Not just Christmas cards mind you, any card. Especially funny, touching and handwritten notecards. Our society has gotten away from anything personal. This, I think, is ironic. Considering the fact we are in a no-one-can-get-their-feelings-hurt-without-a-lawsuit-involved-society. (Too many words in my sentences? I gotcha!)

Maybe it's not the thank you notes. Maybe it's sheer LAZINESS!!!!

Another ironic thing about this post? I will probably be hearing from all my aunts and other relatives reminding me of the thank you notes I didn't send. That's okay. That means I'll get more emails!!


Mrs. DD said...

I couldn't agree more! I try to always send thank you notes and I have tried to instill this in my kids as well. By the way Thank you for visiting Domestic Designer! When you have just started blogging it means so much to have some one actually read it. I am taking your advice on the bread. I will be adding chocolate chips the next time.

Sue said...

I'm with you!! I taught my daughter to always send a thank you note for anything...I remember her telling me that when she was in college she used to go to her boyfriends house in N.Y.C for the weekend and when she got back to college she would send a thank you to is mother for having her....After a few times his mother told her to stop sending the notes that it was ridiculous....Thanks goodness she didn't marry that guy....And I also have given many a monetary wedding gift and baby gift to recieve no note at all....very rude I would say...

Becca Watson said...

I agree! I only had a few people at my wedding, but got plenty of presents in the mail. Every single person got a thank you note. I try to send them out at Christmas and birthdays as well. I remember as a kid, my mother making me send out thank you notes all the time.

Farmchick said...

I totally agree with you! We had over 200 people at our wedding and I wrote out thank you notes to each and every gift giver!!! A couple of years we went to a wedding and we didn't receive a thank you -- still annoys me when I see them!!!

justabeachkat said...

I sooooo agree with you.

BTW...I love your new look. But, it's a little hard to read (at least for me). It might be easier if you increased your font size. Just a thought.


CatHerder said...

When my kids were little, i always made them write a thank you note. Now in the age of computers, if the other person has an email account, i have them send an animated card from Care2 (theyre free). If the person does not, they give a phone call or a thank you note. Its just "respect". When someone sends something home with hubby from work, i send a thank you note with something baked back.

Pat@Bqck Porch Musings said...

Neat post, Lisa and very true.

If you decide to make the trip to Republic, another place to stop and browse antiques is at Marshfield. I think there are at least a couple places there, but the one we saw was on the south side of 44.

The booths are immaculate. You can really "see" everything. In Ozark, there are a ton of antique shops. We've had lots of fun exploring all along 44 and S. 65.

justabeachkat said...

Much better!


Terri and Bob said...

Yes, you are SPOT ON. If I take the time to go to the wedding, buy a gift, wrap it and get dressed up, I do expect a thank you note. I am not shy about asking about it either. One of my daughters didn't send me a thank you note and I asked her about it.... don't you like the food processor??

Pam at Antique or Not said...

Lisa, you're too funny! But you're absolutely right about the thank-you notes. Hubby and I went to a nephew's wedding and gave a rather large cash gift. Didn't hear anything from the newlyweds for months, which upset us since it was cash!

Nanci said...

I do have a motto about grandkids that don't call or write (email is good) I just tell them that they get one chance and one only. Call or send card or email or else no more presents (money to teens is gold) I have one that doesn't get anything because she "forgot Nana"
I agree, a call or a note.
Weddings are different. Notes are a must. An Absolute. I told one couple that someone must have stolen their gift because I didn't get a note, or was it lost in the mail? Yeah, the note arrived...lost in the mail so sorry.

Laura said...

I so agree with you, too! It might be a dying art, unless we try to teach our kids (and all send thank-you notes to each other!). Sometimes it's hard to find time, but I always tell myself I'm not "allowed" to use the gift (or spend the money, or gift card, or whatever) until I write out the thank-you note. That gets me going! I've done this with my kids, too, and now they do it automatically. (They're teens now.) LifeScript ran a very good article about writing thank you notes that almost gives you a formula for writing them. It's especially helpful for teens who might not know what all to say. Great blog, and great topic!

Susie Q said...

I am with you on this...we have been to 6 weddings in the last 3 years and 3 of those couples never sent a note.
My husband's brother's family (which we never really see and, well, that is another story!)
never sends notes or calls or anything to let us know their boys received gifts.
It seems to be *accepted* by the younger set and I find it just awful.
I am grateful that my son learned how to do this early on and work with Grace to do it as well.

Great post!


Anonymous said...

I believe if you are kind enough to get someone a gift they should send a thank you card.

Anonymous said...

Hi Lisa and thank you so much for visiting my blog and leaving such a wonderful comment! Your blog is sooo pretty.

As for thank you notes, well, I have to admit I am guilty of not sending them, at least not through the U.S. Mail. My daughter, however helps her children write a thank you note for every gift they receive. It's time this world gets back to a few of the old ways of doing things, like hand-written thank you notes.

BTW.. turning 40... how I wish I could do that again... I loved my 40's!!!

Be back soon.
The Blue Ridge Gal

Anonymous said...

I just happened upon your great blogsite. And I totally agree with you. My Mom taught me when I was young to send those thank you notes out promptly. Not sure why times have changed on that....its good timeless advice to me. If someone was kind enough to take the time to send a gift, they deserve a thank you.
You have a great blog.
BB from Ga.