Thursday, May 24, 2012


I just posted on Facebook that I wish I could do this day over to make changes to friends who are just having a difficult time.  As soon as I got to work this morning, I found out a friend I used to car-pool with, lost her son last night.  His room-mate found him and could not wake him.  He had passed away in his sleep.  He was only 29.  There is no possible way I can even begin to imagine how she feels.  I keep replaying this news in my mind...wondering how Diana's life will be forever changed.  I woke up feeling pretty good today.  I can't complain.  Normally when I'm feeling blue, something like this happens.  It makes me of news makes me more appreciative.  The sad thing is, it takes something like this to make me feel better about my situation maybe that's normal. But, it makes me feel selfish.  In my opinion, one of the hardest things to do in life, is to NOT take life for granted, people for granted, or situations for granted. Why can't life be easier?  Why can't life have a pause button? Why can't I ask why and get answers?  Life is a gift.  It truly is.  Just take a minute to love and appreciate everything you can.  

Thursday, May 17, 2012

Donna Summer

Today at lunch time I check my Facebook page via my phone.  I see a post from my cousin Julie saying, "RIP Donna Summer".  Immediately I say to myself , "no way."  "No way," she couldn't have passed aways.  I mean she's only in her 30s right?  I have my favorite Donna Summer song, "Dim All the Lights" downloaded on my Ipod.  I listen to it quite often when I walk.  Every time that song plays, I wish I could sing like her.  One of the queens of disco.  I believe I was in the 4th grade when I first heard her.  She's one of the reasons why I love disco so much.  Rest in Peace Donna.  Rest in Peace.

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

I wish I wasn't addicted to one of the most shallow shows on television.  The Real Housewives of Orange County is like viewing a horrendous train wreck that I cannot keep my eyes away from.  During a winter storm in 2007, I watched a marathon when I couldn't make it to work.  Gradually over the years, the show has gotten crazier, harder to believe, and even more shallow.  Maybe it's the fact I cannot possibly believe that people actually live like this...maybe not...I know it has to be least I hope so...

Maybe one of the reasons why I'm getting so perturbed at this show, is that there is a born and bred Missouri girl on there now.  Not so sad that she is from Missouri, but terribly disappointed that others viewing this shallow show may think that Missouri girls are this  self centered and...well...downright stupid.  Having no right to judge, I try not to...I repeat...I try not to...

One of my favorite things is watching the wives faces. They do not move. So much Botox will do that to a face.  The women have beautiful smiles, yet have expressionless faces.  Watch this show, then flip the channel to TVland.  Pay attention to the women from the 70s and 80s.  Their faces literally move with emotion. It's almost refreshing. 

We women of the current decade, do not have to age if we have enough money.  Isn't that awesome?  I guess..

I'm not proud of the fact I have age spots and dark circles, nor am I proud of the fact that I admit right here on my blog that I watch the most shallow show on television.  But, I'm honest.  Maybe it's a way I subconsciously make myself feel better about how I've turned out in life...maybe?

Sunday, May 13, 2012

Friday, May 11, 2012

Am I Wrong?

So I'm back to writing this diary thing.  Interestingly enough, I have 3 full paragraphs written about some observations today when all of a sudden, 2 of the paragraphs turn blue and delete themselves.  Who does that happen???  I took that as a sign and deleted everything.  It must be a way for the big guy upstairs to tell me, "don't go there."  So I'll start something different.  Since about 3:30pm today, I've been thinking about this baby shower we had at work for 2 young ladies expecting just weeks apart in June.  The gifts were beautifully wrapped, the cake looked awesome (with two pairs of pink shoes on top), and several people came.  Including some male staff, which pleasantly surprised me.  A couple of different ladies took time to put this event together. 

The girls were given their gifts by another co-worker who would hand each girl a gift to open and then wait until they were opened to hand them another one.  Now it's been a while since I've gone to a baby shower.  However, from what I remember, the recipient of the gifts would open the gift, ooo and ahhh a few times, tell everyone who gave them the nice gift and thank them.  Then everyone else would ooo and ahhh too.  This would be repeated throughout the shower.  Not today...

Today the recipients opened their gifts, put them back in the sacks, open another gift, put it back in the sack, open another gift put it back in the sack, and open another gift and put it back in the sack.  Get the picture?  Some of us couldn't even see what they got because they speedy opening and closing of the gifts was so fast there was no time to sneak even a peak.  I only heard one thank you.  All I could think of was, "I wonder what grandma would think of this." 

After the first two gifts were opened someone had the idea to get pen and paper so someone else could keep track of the gifts and who they were from.  I felt bad for my friend sitting beside me.  She was trying to keep tally.  They opened so fast, I think she may have missed a few.   I had a thought.  These girls probably won't pen thank you notes anyway so why keep tabs. 

I truly hate the way I felt coming out of that shower.  Obviously people took time to create such a nice party for them.  I'm not real sure it was appreciated.  I hope so. Maybe I perceived all of this in the wrong way.  It makes me wonder what kind of personalities these babies will have 15 years from now.  Will they be taught to be nice?  Will they be taught the effective way of pretending to be enthusiastic when someone does something wonderful for them even though they don't really feel that way? 

It's official.  I am getting old.  I feel the pangs of wanting to say rude but truthful things like only the old people can do.  Truthfully...I'm looking forward to it.  So in the next few years when something like this takes place, I'm gonna walk out of the room and say, "whew so happy I didn't waste any more money on these people." 

Thursday, May 10, 2012


It's been a long while since I've visited my own blog.  I'm just not into it lately.  However, this week I've considered doing something different.  Something more like an online diary.  A place I can vent, chat and toot my own horn if I want to. It's been a week of Mondays and I just want to talk to someone to vent.  I have no one.  Maybe I should say, I have no one I can really trust.  By trust I mean to keep quiet, to keep it between us, not to walk out of the room while I am talking, and I could probably go on.  Sorry for this post. Well kinda.  I just need to vent.  So I will start with some trivial things.
When people, LOL do you honestly believe they are laughing out loud?  I don't. Sometimes a smile is worth as much as a laugh.
When women hear themselves being described as big, we do not think in terms of tall.  Big to us = fat.  Nor do we like being called thick.  That does not make things better.  We know what we look like, so just leave it at that.
Is it really so hard to pick up a towel that has fallen on the floor.  And has remained there for 5 days?
Why do people feel compelled to drive in the fast lane? 
Our local Westlakes Hardware Store has one of the top two worst parking lots in our town.  Every freakin old person, and every jacked up 4 wheel drive decided to be there at the same time on Saturday afternoon.  I just stayed in my car, gripping my steering wheel in hopes of not getting hit.
My best friend described how "literal" her son is...I've never thought about that before. It sums up so many people.  It makes so much sense.
Recently, I have met the most egotistical person I have ever met in my life.  Every time I talk to him, I often wonder why I am so insecure.  I think I'd rather be insecure...
I would love to take a nice vacation with my husband.  he sees no reason to due anything but play golf.  My ego loves this.  I wonder why I'm insecure...
A dear friend of mine started a blog for one of her autistic students.  It is one of the most captivating things I have ever read in my life.  He's awesome!!  He may even be the reason why I had a new desire to write again.

Facebook is a terrible place to socialize. Thoughts cannot be shared without someone unfriending another for having a different opinion.  Also, chat should be just that.  If you want to proposition someone, go to one of those special rooms.  Asking me if I want to have bone jarring sex with you is NOT appropriate.  And truthfully, there is a reason why you are single.
I want to go back to being 30 again.  I promise I will make it great this time.
About a month ago I had a biopsy done on the nail matrix of my index finger on my right hand.  I dread having an ugly fingernail.  I dread maybe not having a fingernail on one side. This is Karma for hating my mother's big toenail my whole life.  I have it coming...
My friend Heather and I had a discussion about baby strollers the other night.  She described how she used to detest anyone with a baby stroller out and about.  I told her I shared the same opinion.  Nothing like going somewhere with tons of people and industrial size strollers are the obstacle course of the day.  Then she said all that changed when she had her first baby.  I laughed.  Because if I had a baby, I know I'd be the same way.  Even tonight when I went for my walk, I saw a woman loading her stroller.  My exact thought was, "how much freakin crap do you need to take a walk?"  Then I thought of Heather.
I've seen so many teenagers driving nicer cars than me.  Really? Really.
I think I'd better stop here. I might be up all night. 
I hope to be back soon.  If I am, I may even change the name of my blog.  Maybe to protect the innocent...